It hits me all at once. Stepping out of the cool dark forest, my senses are overtaken by the golden meadows, their sheer beauty, in which I am now wholly ensconced. Tall wheatgrass fields oscillate in the gentle breeze, and the very ground beneath my feet appears to inhale and exhale deep, sacred, chortling breaths. When I gaze up at the bright sun above me, a blazing orb of heat and light, my entire being is filled to the brim with an auric euphoria. It manifests as a polychromatic circle spinning in the center of my chest and I am overcome by the one-ness that the monks told me about when I asked them questions of the universe. I long to meet them again; I want to tell Brother Merit and Brother Pride that I understand now, but I know that I cannot. They will not accept me back into their graces. A cloud covers the sun, and all surrounding worldly warmth immediately dissipates, receding back into Father Sky’s shadows. I start to cry. In this moment I receive the Lord’s redemption, and He connects me to Brother Merit and Brother Pride. They will not have me in this earthly realm, in and of my blood and flesh, but I touch them in the divine state. God, may you let these amber rays melt through my veins. May I become the sun?