I've wondered how this power dynamic
led to disaster. And how one strict line
of thought could break my heart and bones
of others before me.

I know you claim to hold an open mind,
but the door closes when I test it.

I can't excuse your old habits anymore.
You've had so much time to think and change.

When I drink, I envy the one thing you hold.
What you want me to hold the same way.
The one thing I seem to lack, the only thing
you measure my worth with. Am I more
than the line of thought that fills your
mind? It never satisfied me.

You've watched me feel an awakening.
And now I walk in a slumber,
a drunken stumble, envying your life
while happy with mine.

You don't want me to fall away. But
what if I already have? Out of line
and into a love you won't comprehend.

Was it your hand
or is this my assumption?

I've branded myself as anything possible
to find myself, to search for
an identity that looks like what I was
before, now that the old form is gone.
I consider coming clean, showing you
who I am. But how would that affect
your vision and how you perceive me?

I now have two lifelines that answer,
"yes" and "no" to you. I want to be
balanced. I want one lifeline

that answers, "maybe."
But you want a lifeline that says,
"yes" even as I'm screaming, "no!"

You started telling me less,
but your actions now say more.
I hear your voice as I run away
from you, tripping over my words
as I do.

I run to the place you won't reach,
for I've found someplace safe