painful childhood of neglect,

abandonment, stealing 

the last remnant of my Indianness, 

 

alcohol woman breezed back to the rez  

twenty-two winters later

 

without warning, dropping by my trailer,

gifting me with expensive  

leather photo album, encircled 

innocent baby picture on cover,

 

alone, body draped with liquor-laden 

time, newly swallowed by COVID-19, 

miserable attempt to play 

the mother role she sold for libation, 

nothing from me,

awkwardly shuffling out the door,

 

agony running through my consciousness, 

like untamed horses

stamping out my existence,

 

collecting my senses, reminding 

myself time had gnawed off the edge, 

 

figured out how to live without 

a mother or a father,  

desperately needed a mother back then, 

 

irrelevant, 

COVID reckoning, misery was 

paid—alcohol woman is not needed now,

 

accomplishments… 

amassing strength from childhood 

of adversity and peril,

remembering how far I’ve come 

on my own… garbage can swallows 

cheap leather photo album