With Estates Large and Small, Ray Robertson takes inspiration from the recent pandemic to tell a love story that explores the meaning of life and death. Going into this novel, I expected a rewrite of many of my favourite classic romances, but I was pleasantly surprised! As the novels I read tend to be based on characters around my own age, it was fascinating to be introduced to a perspective we don’t usually see in popular culture. Robertson breathes life into a realistic love story between two middle-aged characters who confront some of society’s burning questions, which ends up forming a book that’s both relatable and heartwarming in every way.

After the Covid-19 pandemic and ever-rising rent pushed Phil’s second-hand bookstore to close its doors, he has now moved his business online. Between moving his inventory onto his new website and pondering the meaning of life, he spends his time making visits to the homes of potential clients, trying to find a new home for their deceased loved ones’ book collections. This is how he meets Caroline, a woman trying to sell off her library due to cancer. Out of pure spontaneity, Phil invites her to join him in his quest to study 2,500 years of philosophy.

Their evenings of shared thoughts over well-known philosophers usually involve red wine, weed, and casually questioning the meaning of life, especially when the time to answer that question seems to be growing shorter, with death looming over Caroline’s head. We all end up questioning who we are at some point, whether you’re trying to face it head-on like these two characters, or maybe you’re a struggling university student trying to figure out if you’re on the right path. We go on a journey alongside these two book lovers as they debate many theories about our world, existence and eternity, all while trying to deal with the realistic circumstances that confront them. Robertson strategically demonstrates his wealth of philosophical knowledge as he weaves a truly authentic love story that’s new and refreshing, all while sparking my own investment in these thoughtful debates.

This novel, set in Toronto during a time that’s still fresh in our minds, provides such realistic characters that, at times, I felt as though this could’ve been a true story. The main character, Phil, is a witty Grateful Dead fan and pot smoker who, at the age of 52, is still trying to figure out who he is. It’s reassuring to know that I’m not the only one still trying to figure out what I’m doing with my life – that it’s not dependent on age. His love for Jerry Garcia’s guitar and his passion for books are details that make him lifelike. Not only that, but his interactions with customers and his family members, whose bluntness at times reminds me of my own family, feel like transcripts of real conversations. The quirky side characters, such as Zoran, a Serbian refugee and customer of Phil’s, made me feel as though I was a fly on the wall, witnessing the honest interactions between a second-hand bookstore owner and his customers. I love how everyone in this book had their own purpose – feeling true to their situations and circumstances, from the intricacies of running a small business to the emotional and often awkward transaction of a widow’s book collection. Even Phil and Caroline’s discussions about philosophers and Caroline’s looming death felt genuine – not at all cheesy or overdramatic. These characters bring this story to life, and I love them all for their little quirks and nuances.

The way that time flows throughout Estates Large and Small was painstakingly beautiful, easily becoming one of my favourite aspects the more I think back to it. At the start of the novel, every chapter ends with Phil’s notes on the philosopher he’s currently studying, including a summary of the theory and his takeaways. As the story progresses and Caroline joins Phil’s philosophical quest, these notes transform into a transcript of their weekly discussions. Throughout these little snippets of their relationship, we get to see how their interactions change as they grow and learn together, not only about philosophy but about each other. Caroline’s determined to make the most of the time she has left, and that’s evident through her opinions of these philosophers. As time goes on, we see their relationship and Caroline’s illness progress. That raw vulnerability is exposed between two people needing to come to terms with life and death. I really enjoyed these stripped down moments, involving only their conversation and no internal thoughts or exposition. Ironically, just like the indirect way of figuring out life’s questions, we end up going full circle with these notes. We see Phil resorting back to his original annotations at the end of the chapter once Caroline has passed away. He returns to the same place he was at the beginning of Estates Large and Small, and yet, he’s transformed into a different person, having loved and lost.

However, I did have opposing feelings throughout reading this novel, finding it hard to fully immerse myself into the story at first due to its slow-paced plot and relaxed progression. I loved the characters themselves and the level of detail that Robertson gave them in order for their relatability to really shine. But then there’s its slow-burning relationship and predictable ending. I realized this early on – and have come to terms with the fact – that this type of novel isn’t my cup of tea. The gradual story progression made it feel boring at times, but I’ve also learned to appreciate it. Yes, it’s a crawling romance with little to no climax, but the messages that come from the book are demonstrated throughout the plot. As Phil and Caroline learn about philosophy and try to find the answer to the meaning of life, Robertson demonstrates that it isn’t always about what we have accomplished by the end of our life that’s important; it’s about the journey. For Caroline, she is embracing and prioritizing the moments she has left, reminding us to make the most of every moment, even if we aren’t near death.

I hated that their relationship was doomed from the beginning. It was unsatisfying and it felt like waiting for a bomb to go off. And yet, I can’t help but acknowledge that throughout the novel I learned a lot. Not only through my preference for books but through exploring, like Phil and Caroline, those hard-hitting and philosophical aspects of life that leave me, as a young adult, anxious and curious about ideas that I had never considered before. Questions like “What’s our purpose? What do we leave behind when we’re gone?” had arisen while reading and while pondering these questions myself. I realized that this is a topic I often try to avoid, scared of the future and aiming to think of the present moment instead. Sometimes these questions stay unanswered, and that’s okay, too.

Estates Large and Small demonstrates the ordinary, day-to-day life of a middle-aged man on his quest to discover who he is, through his study of philosophy and his love for a woman with cancer. The representation in this novel is a refreshing take, especially for a lot of us now as we reach adulthood and feel the weight on our shoulders to decide exactly what we want to do for the rest of our lives. On the surface, this novel seems to be a simple love story, but it pulls no punches and offers some clarity. This novel doesn’t provide the direct answer to life’s fundamental questions, but it does remind us to embrace the journey, instead of focusing on what we have to show for ourselves. This novel takes you on a rollercoaster of heartwarming and melancholic moments that will leave you contemplating what your own journey is and how you can make the most of your life.