JUNE
Note to self: turn in security deposit!!!!
Call Mom.
To Do: Find the nearest grocery store. Work orientation. Find a church that doesn’t hate people.
Groceries: Milk, eggs, bread, ham and cheese. Strawberries, pears, spinach, sweet peppers. Those nice black ink pens, the ones with the super fine point. A pretty notebook with unlined pages. Long grain rice, vermicelli noodles, butter, bouillon cubes. (Ask mom. How long to fry the noodles for pilaf?) 72% dark chocolate. Red wine. Turning 23 next week! Devil’s food cake mix, tub of frosting. Flour, sugar, vanilla extract, cocoa powder, baking soda, buttermilk.
No journal. Oh well. This notepad works for now.
JULY
Potluck 7:30pm!!!!!
He’s so good-looking. He’s excited I can make it. Is this real? Since when are church guys so cute? What to bring? Don’t try too hard. What do Wisconsin people eat? Strawberry rhubarb bars. Seven layer dip. Cake pops. Fruit kebabs. This is all so embarrassing. He probably has a girlfriend. He’s in a band. He kinda looks like a mix of Brad Pitt and Green Day guy, like, from the 90’s. Cuter though. He’s a nurse. He looks good in blue.
Sweet’s Market: Watts Road
(past the Target, turn left)
Summer sausage. Don’t be so damn obvious. Cheese might be a safe bet??? Wisco people love their cheese. I mean, God, they love it. They want to marry it and have squeaky cheese curd babies. Beer might be impressive, if I knew what kind of beer he liked, if I had any clue what qualified as good beer. That one girl from college was always drinking Pale Ales. Idk??
Recipe: Sweet and Hot Dip
One jar pepper relish
8oz softened cream cheese
Serve with yellow corn tortilla chips
Easy, delicious, crowd-pleaser. The winner!!!
****Note for future reference****
He doesn’t like cheese. How in the fuck does a guy born in Wisconsin not like cheese? Fuck. Fuckity fuck.
AUGUST
8am at the Lock
Fishing/Picnic
(Is this really happening???)
BRING:
Cash
Snacks
A bag of sweet cherries. Crusty baguette. Honey. Strawberries, brie. No cheese!!!!! Don’t forget.
Debrief; Is it normal for a guy to put a tub of earthworms and a pack of PBR in the same cooler? Is this a Wisconsin thing? Is it weird that I love it? He smiles and, my God. Falling, so hard. I baited my own line just to impress him. Tore the earthworms in half, nails were too short, had to squish through their gross wriggly bodies with my fingertips (note to self, stop biting nails), acted like I wasn’t totally squeamish. Caught a tiny little perch and tossed it back and he caught nothing and we drank PBRs like a couple of cool kids or something. He’s funny. He’s fucking sexy. I hope this is real.
Things I know so far:
Hospice nurse
Kind
HOT
Musician
Likes live shows and stargazing and dorky board games and beer and ????
Doesn’t have texting on his phone plan (HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE WHAT YEAR EVEN IS IT)
Is this real?
SEPTEMBER
Door Creek orchard:
3252 Vilas Road
Apple Pie Ingredients: Flour, butter, sugar, cornstarch, apple pie spice. Nutmeg, ginger, cinnamon. No shortcuts, not with him. It won’t be like the fiasco with the birthday cake. We are MAKING this fucking pie. From-scratch baking because I am a fucking grown up. Vanilla ice cream. The kind with tiny black specks from the vanilla pods. Extra toothbrush. Condoms. In case he forgets. Leave nothing to chance. Wine. Frozen pizza.
OCTOBER
NOVEMBER
DECEMBER
JANUARY
FEBRUARY
Oh my god. I’m so glad I found this. Brad Pitt and 1990s Green Day guy??? Flattered. You’re in the bedroom packing up your clothes, so you should be out in a few weeks, probably. I’m packing up the dishes. We took a break for a fuckle (fuck + cuddle, in case the term ever falls out of our parlance) but now we are back at it. MOVING DAY 2013!! Sorry about the not-liking-cheese thing. Glad you still gave me a chance. You were great with the earthworms. Cool as a cucumber. I never suspected a thing.
MARCH
Grocery List:
Noodles
Tomato Sauce
Wine
IPA
Wheat bread
Peanut butter
cereal
(what’s your favorite cereal?)
Lucky Charms.
Lucky Charms, are you three years old???
What’s yours?
Rice Krispy Treat Cereal, obv.
Mozzarella, pepperoni.
I thought you didn’t like cheese?
Pizza is a special case.
Bone-in chicken thighs.
Barbecue sauce.
Lettuce, tomatoes, cucumbers.
Pancake mix.
Bananas. (Extra bananas.)
Maple syrup. (Only the real stuff, look for the glass jar and the maple leaf logo. My parents made me a syrup snob. I can’t help it.)
Tortilla chips. Salsa.
Queso.
Condoms
Whoops forgot. No condoms!!! For the next 10 months!!!
Or longer. It’ll probably take a while.
APRIL
Pregnancy test. Digital fast-response. (Double box.)
MAY
Boys: Hugo, Everett, Emerson, Leon, Rowan
Girls: Quinn, Basia, Elsie, Lena, Noel (Noelle?) ←maybe?
JUNE
Pregnant lady grocery list:
Ice cream!! Flavor? Surprise me. No. Chocolate. Pickles, chocolate chip cookie dough, soft pretzels, the kind you can microwave, cocoa butter stretch marks lotion. Lunchmeat. Nope, listeria. Avocadoes. Hummus and pita chips. Berries, spinach. Prenatal vitamins. Look for acai smoothie blend. The freezer section. Sweet potato. Waffle fries. They get nice and crispy in the broiler tray. What about your birthday cake???? Oooh crepe cake would be good! Flour, sugar, egg, raspberry cream.
JULY
Saltine crackers. Ginger candy. Cinnamon gum.
AUGUST
SEPTEMBER
OCTOBER
NOVEMBER
Family Thanksgiving Menu
-Turkey
-Canned cranberry sauce
-Crescent rolls
-Orange jello is this too many sweets?
-Twice-baked potatoes
-Sweet potatoes marshmallow or brown sugar topping?
-Pumpkin pie
-Homemade whipped cream ok seriously shouldn’t we have SOMETHING savory
-Green beans. (Happy now?)
–Wine
-Vernors and chocolate milk (I’m sorry, it’s just, it’s a thing my family does, always pour the Vernors first, then add the chocolate milk, I’m fucking pregnant, this is non-negotiable)
DECEMBER
Still need:
More swaddles
Diapers
Bibs
Bath toys
Backseat mirror
Why are strollers so expensive???
Nursing pads? What are those for? I don’t think I need any more padding than I already have.
Pack Go Bag
~from birthing class – relax your face, breathe in, breathe out~
JANUARY
I’m scared. Me too. Any day now. Yep. You love me. Always.
FEBRUARY
Target Trip
Diapers. Wipes. Lanolin. Frozen pizza. Frozen waffles. Bread. Peanut butter. (No, the huge jar, the one you could fit both hands inside, the one you could hold up to your face and scream into.) Diaper cream. Colic drops. Infant vitamin D. Condoms? Fuck you. I’m just kidding. Sorry. Seriously it wasn’t funny, I’m sorry. You fucking better be kidding. Apples. Coffee. We need some vegetables. Don’t we? Love cannot survive on bread alone. White noise machine? The swaddles with the snaps. Baby formula? No. We don’t need it. Just one container? Just in case? You need to rest Please don’t tell me what I need.
—We missed Valentine’s Day.
Box of chocolates?
Biggest one you can find. (50% off!!!)
WTF is with all the fruit creams. They’re too sweet.
They’re my favorite.
Since when?
Since always. Strawberry cream. Orange cream. So effing good.
If this was a story, you’d make an awful character. Too many inconsistencies.
MARCH
APRIL
Diapers. More diapers. Wipes. Lanolin. Nursing pads (2 boxes). Coffee. How is it possible to be so tired? Did you know that sleep deprivation is a form of torture? Do you remember that picnic? Do you remember Brad Pitt, 1990’s Green Day guy? I never drink PBR. I know. I was trying to act like I didn’t give a shit. I know. Double IPA. Baby formula. Diapers. Rice cereal. Frozen everything. Just walk through the freezer aisle. Grab one of everything. Produce. Same thing. Something of every color. Taste the fucking rainbow.
I SWEAR TO GOD DO NOT FUCKING TELL ME TO RELAX MY FACE
MAY
-Give benadryl
-Warning signs full-body hives, trouble breathing–call 9-1-1
-Watch him for a few hours
-NO MORE PEANUTS, READ LABELS
-Ask for Dr. G. @ allergist
JUNE
JULY
AUGUST
To Do:
Make therapy appt
Make allergist appt
Do laundry
Call Mom
Text Mary back
Try to sleep
Find Owly (couch cushions? Laundry basket?)
Cry – 15 minutes
Look for a new church?
Yoga for Stress Relief
SEPTEMBER
THE GRANOLA WITH THE BEAR ON IT CONTAINS PEANUTS, DON’T FORGET!!!!!
Laundry
Sanitize pacifiers
Therapy switched to 3:30 Wednesdays
Call Mom
Return library books
Ambien – start with 5mg
New furnace filters
Clean bathroom
Dish soap
Living Sacrifice
Make salsa
WTF??? Living sacrifice???
It’s a band, they’re coming out with a new album, seeing if I can afford it
LMAO this is the funniest list I think I have ever seen in my 25 years
OCTOBER
Hotel @ Sleeping Bear Dunes: $120/night ?????
-Too far away, too expensive
Therapy switched to 11:30 Mondays
Need new epipens
Self care: bath bomb and essential oils, make chocolate chip cookies, scream into pillow
NOVEMBER
DECEMBER
JANUARY
FEBRUARY
MARCH
APRIL
Remember when we used to write notes on here?
I miss you so much.
Should we run away together?
Where?
Anywhere.
MAY
Instructions for Mom:
-Meals in the fridge/freezer!
-Snack ideas: baby food pouches, puffs, yogurt cups, cottage cheese, roasted sweet potato (in fridge), goldfish crackers. NO UNCUT GRAPES.
***No peanuts in the house****
-Epipens in kitchen drawer just in case
-Hotel info on fridge!
Get directions: Sleeping Bear Dunes
For road trip picnic:
Sweet cherries. Baguette. Honey. Strawberries. Brie. Summer sausage. (Got it covered ; )
JUNE
PBR. Check. Box cake mix. Check. Love me? Always.