Winter, 2017

 “I could go back to the beginning, but what would be the point?” she squeezed her eyes shut, willing the memories of fifteen years past to fill her mind, “do you remember that summer? I do. I still think of you,” her eyes opened, “when we danced in the kitchen at night.” Silence fell over her as the memory came flooding back to her as a silent movie only she could see. Just a couple of kids, slow dancing in a dark kitchen to music only they could hear.

 “You cross my mind every single day.” She felt her breath catch in her chest and she shook her head, “did you know that?”

The silence that followed was deafening.

“No,” her eyes closed again sounding as defeated as she felt, “of course not. How could you know that?” She lifted her gaze to the gray clouds in the sky, “damn it. Why was I so stubborn? And you, why were you so…” she looked down at him again, “so confusing? So closed off.”

Feeling angry with herself, she wiped tears off her cheeks and stood up, “I miss you. I’ll continue to miss you every single day for the rest of my life.”

Summer, 2002

Katelyn Watson’s arms were crossed over her chest. She sat on the couch in her family’s TV room, staring across the room at the screen but not really acknowledging what was playing. Her best friend on the planet just left in a blue Chevy Cavalier for a nineteen-hour drive to college. She felt empty. She felt lost. She felt like the world was just ending right in front of her and she was standing there, powerless to stop it.

She also felt maybe just a tiny bit dramatic. When you’re seventeen and college is within arms’ reach, the world you know is ending. You really are powerless when it comes to time; time is ruthless and it waits for no one. And, being powerless is really a dreaded feeling; nothing ever goes the way you want when you are powerless. You’re just sitting there, watching the world burn. However, as she sat there unmoving, Katie realized there was one thing she had power over tonight…

Seeing Josh.

Katie’s heart sank at the thought of him, at the thought of having to face him, knowing she would never see him again. At the thought of all their laughing, playing and joy in the summer sun, knowing it would never happen again. Katie grabbed the nearest throw pillow on the couch and brought it to her face, letting out a scream; frustration upon frustration from deep inside of her rose to her top and she let it all out.

Feeling eyes of another person suddenly on her, she stopped screaming to peer over the top of the pillow. Her older sister, Gwen, was standing near the television across the room.

“Are you okay?” she asked, a brow raised. Katie blew out a sigh, throwing the pillow aimlessly.

“I guess.”

“Nervous about college?”

“Something like that.”

“You should go see him.” Gwen said after a moment of staring at her sister. The words caught her off guard and Katie furrowed her brow, feigning ignorance.

“See who?”

Her sister rolled her eyes and turned toward the staircase, “you know it’s asinine when a bright girl acts dumb.” Katie watched as her sister disappeared up the stairs and looked around the room helplessly. She knew Gwen was right; she just wasn’t sure if she was prepared to face the reality that had been staring her in the face all summer.

Four boxes and two suitcases were stacked near his bedroom door. Joshua Parker sat on his bed, arms crossed against his chest, his brown eyes glowering at the boxes. He wasn’t sure what this feeling was however, he was pretty sure he was having second thoughts about college. Maybe he didn’t need to go away. Being a doctor was completely overrated, am I right? His father didn’t go to college and he did pretty okay for himself with being able to allow his mother to stay at home and raise six kids. At any rate, it didn’t bother him working in his dad’s shop all day. He enjoyed crafting with his hands and spending time in the shop with his pop. What was starting to bother Josh, however, was becoming a doctor. He was also starting to mind leaving the only place he called home for the last eighteen years.

Well, that settles it. He was going to forgo the whole college bit and just stay home. There was no need to go to school for an estimated one hundred years to become a doctor. The world didn’t need more doctors. The world did need more woodworkers, though. And he could build the Parker family business up.

Decidedly, he hopped off his bed and made his way toward the boxes. His plan was simple: He’d just unpack, put all his crap back where it belongs and then hide in his closet where no one could find him when it was time to leave for North Carolina in the morning. It was a flawless plan. What could go wrong? Besides, New Jersey was just fine. Who needed to go to college eight hours from home? The whole situation was just insane. What was he thinking?

As soon as he opened the first box to rifle through, there was an unexpected voice at his door: “What are you doing?”

Josh’s heart jumped and he looked up to find Katelyn Watson, eyes narrowed and arms crossed, standing in his bedroom doorway. “Jesus, Katie. You scared me. Where did you come from?”

“Your sister let me in,” she said, nodding to the boxes, “what are you doing?”

“Unpacking,” he said with a shrug, “I’m not going.”

“Not going where?”

“To North Carolina.”

“You’re not going to college?” Katie’s voice was incredulous.

“That’s right. I’m going to stay here and run my dad’s business.”

“Since when?”

“Since about three minutes ago.”

Katie suppressed a smile, “and you really think your parents are going to be okay with this?”

“Well, I mean, they’re probably going to be pretty mad over the whole loosing thousands of dollars…” he scoffed, “listen, not everyone has had their college, their career path and their dreams planned out since they were seven years old, ok?” he pointed a finger at her and she shrugged at him, knowing damn well she wanted more than anything to just can the whole college thing herself. She’d never in a million years tell him that though.

“Not everyone plans their future in three minutes either,” she said, dropping her head to the side. Josh blew out a sigh and ran a hand through his hair. “Are you scared?”

“Scared? No. No, I’m not scared,” he said hurriedly, “I’m terrified. Aren’t you terrified?” Katie opened her mouth to respond but he didn’t give her a chance, “Everything in life is about to change. I’m not ready for this,” his voice escalated as he spoke, “shit is about to get real. It’s about to get real, really quick and I’m not fucking ready.”

“It’s exciting!” Katie feigned, smiling ruefully.

“Your pretend excitement isn’t fooling anyone,” he scoffed, “why are you still up? Isn’t it past your bedtime?”

Katie smiled, her eyes rolling upward, “I couldn’t sleep.”

“That’s because life is changing.”

She laughed, “you’re so dramatic.” Josh hung his head as Katie finally came into his room to wrap her arms around his neck. The second her body was against his, Josh felt his shoulders relax. He hugged her for a moment.

“If I stayed in New Jersey, would you stay too?” he asked faintly, burying his face into her hair. Katie laughed softly, resting her forehead on his chest.

“What would be in New Jersey that isn’t in Illinois?”

“Tomatoes,” he said. Katie grinned, looking up at him. He smiled down at her, brushing a brown strand of hair out of her eyes.

“You’re going to college.” she said.

“I know.”

“And I’m going to college.”

“I know.”

There was a moment of silence between them as they stood in his room, wrapped in one another’s arms. Katie’s thoughts raced as she stared at Josh’s half empty bedroom. She thought of the nights they’d stay up watching ridiculous old movies until 2 am, sprawled across pillows on the floor. On Fourth of July, they had a pizza party at midnight with Sam and Nick on the bed; she could almost hear Nick bellowing “to the summer” as they all cheered with the beer Josh had stolen from his parent’s fridge. Their first kiss which took place in his doorway when they were soaking wet from a random, afternoon thunderstorm. From the laughter to the serious debates about life, aliens, and everything in between, Josh’s bedroom held so many memories in the short two months she’d come to know him.

The best two months of her life.

“Let’s get out of here,” Josh said finally, breaking her thoughts. Katie nodded, taking his hand as he led her out of his bedroom and down the hallway toward the stairs. The house was quiet as they headed down the stairs and toward the kitchen. Josh released Katie’s hand and she took a seat at the breakfast bar.

Josh opened the refrigerator and took out bottled waters for them, sliding one over to her. “So, Katie, why did you really come over?”

“You’re leaving tomorrow,” she sounded remorseful, twisting open the cap of the water bottle, “and I didn’t get to say goodbye yet.” Josh silently opened his own water bottle, his thoughts drifting once again to leaving for college in approximately ten hours. Leaving all he had come to know behind; leaving Katie behind. The only light on in the kitchen was the stove range, leaving little light to see Katie as he glanced over at her, half wishing he could stay in New Jersey to be with her longer and half wishing he’d never even met her to make him consider that.

“Do you want to dance with me?” he asked her gently. A slow smile spread across Katie’s face and she nodded, sliding off the stool at the breakfast bar. All in one motion, Josh pulled her to him and began to sway. He twirled her to the music only they could hear and Katie was beaming in spite of herself. He grinned at her, spinning her again. He pulled her close to him, kissing her cheek as her head found his shoulder as they swayed.

“I have to tell you something,” he said. Katie’s heart raced at his words. Oh God, oh God, oh God. What was he going to say?

“What?” she asked, looking up at him, the feeling of her heart sinking slowly lower and lower into her abdomen. The boy’s gaze was making her organs feel funny.

“It’s something I’ve been wanting to tell you all summer,” he admitted and Katie didn’t say anything, feeling her heart practically in her knees at this point.

There was a brief moment of silence as he stared at her and Katie thought her bones were going to form in a pool on his kitchen floor at his feet.

“You snore,” Josh finally said.

Katie’s face went pink and felt her jaw fall off her face, “I do not!”

Josh laughed, “you do. You snore so loud.”

“Josh!” Katie found herself laughing too, her heart finally back to its normal pace and she threw her head back, “I do not snore.”

“You do but it’s adorable,” he grabbed her around the waist and she squealed as he hoisted her onto his shoulder.

“Snoring is never adorable!” she wailed, teasingly punching his back as he carted her out of the kitchen.

“Let’s go before you wake the whole house,” he laughed, carrying her through the foyer of his house toward the front door.

“So, where are we going?” Katie asked moments later as they climbed into his red Pontiac Firebird.

“It’s a surprise,” he keyed the ignition and the car roared to life. They drove in silence until a song came on the radio Katie recognized. She began singing under her breath and Josh quickly noticed, turning it up. Katie grinned over him, as she sang louder. The louder she sang, the louder Josh turned the music up. She closed her eyes, the breeze from the open windows hitting her face and joy flowed through her body as she belted out song lyrics. Then the music abruptly cut off and all that was left was her off key voice echoing in the car.

Katie’s eyes flew open and she stopped singing. She looked over at Josh, who was laughing over his steering wheel. “You have a terrible voice,” he managed.

Katie couldn’t help but laugh herself as she reached over, smacking his arm playfully.

Moments later, Josh was motoring his Firebird into a boat marina. Katie peered out the window, seeing nothing but the overhead lights on the docks and the calm bay water gently lapping against the docks, rocking the boats softly side to side.

“Let’s go,” Josh said once he had parked. He hopped out of the car and rounded the front toward the passenger side. He pulled open Katie’s door and gestured for her to exit. She followed him out the parking lot and down one of the docks leading out over the bay.

“What are we doing?” she whispered, following in his wake.

“Stealing a boat and sailing to the Caribbean,” he said smoothly and Katie scoffed, amusingly rolling her eyes. Josh stopped at a random boat climbed aboard. Katie watched him, remaining on the dock as he turned to face her. “I’m kidding,” he finally said, “This is my dad’s boat. Coming aboard, m ’lady?” He reached out his hand and she beamed, sliding hers into his. Josh pulled her onto the boat with him.

“You know, sailing to Caribbean isn’t a terrible idea,” she told him after he kissed her gently. Josh laughed, leading her down the bow of the boat.

“If only, Watson,” he said as they sat down together. Katie pulled her knees to her chest, resting her chin on them, her eyes on the sky. As natural as breathing, Josh slid his arm around her shoulders, pulling her closer to him. Her head found his shoulder and she let out a long sigh. They sat in a comfortable silence, watching the stars, lost in their own thoughts.

Katie closed her eyes in though – Josh was right about one thing: life was changing so quickly right before their eyes. Soon, she’d be in college with a major labeled across her forehead at one of the most recognized colleges in the country. The day she was accepted into Northwestern University was the happiest day of her life. She remembered her and Gwen jumping up and down in their kitchen, excitedly screaming, waving the letter of acceptance as proudly as a soldier waving the American flag. She had been incredibly proud of herself. But, not tonight. Tonight, she felt an unexpected deep sadness. Not just of leaving her life and starting new somewhere else – but for her childhood. She knew this was the end of being “just a kid”.

Someone should’ve warned her; someone, somewhere should’ve sat her down at the age of ten and said “stay ten years old forever”. Because at the age of ten, you feel as though your life will always be the same and that your friends will never change, you have little to no responsibilities, college seems like a faraway pipe dream and no one expects much from you. Because at the age of ten, you’re just a kid. Katie still, at the age of seventeen, felt like “just a kid”. A kid who was capable of making her own decisions, a kid who was capable of falling in love at the drop of a hat, a kid who was expected to work and pay her own cell phone bill. At what point in life do you stop being a kid? How does becoming an adult happen? And how do you make it stop?

“You know, it’s funny,” Katie finally said, breaking their silence. Josh could tell by her tone she didn’t actually think whatever she was about to say was amusing; “I knew this day was coming all summer, but at the same time it didn’t seem like it would ever actually come. And, now here it is. Staring us in the face.”

Beside her, Josh blew out a long sigh, his own eyes now on the stars. He didn’t know what to say, so he didn’t say anything as more silence settled between them. Katie deserved more than two months of sunshine and laughter; she deserved the world. He looked down at her, kissing the top of her head, “you know,” he said, “when I look at the stars in North Carolina and you look at the stars in Illinois, we’ll be looking at the same stars. It’ll be like we’re looking at stars together.”

He felt Katie’s shoulders sink and she looked up at him. Her voice cracked when she spoke: “I’m going to miss you.”

Josh looked back at her, a faint smile on his face, “I’ll miss you too.” Katie sat up straight, curling her legs under her. She looked over at Josh sideways, his face was lit up by the dockside lamppost near his dad’s boat and she took note of the scar below his right eye.

“Where did you get that scar?” she asked, touching it softly, yearning to know every detail about him before they went their separate ways.

“A shark,” he said and she let out a laugh.

“Shut up.”

“I fell in the bathtub,” he grumbled.

“You fell in the bathtub? What are you? Eighty years old?” she couldn’t help but laugh.

“I was three!” Josh reached over to tickle her. Katie laughed loudly in spite of herself, pushing his hands away. He managed to catch one of her hands and pulled her to him, wrapping his arms around her. Again, they settled into comfortable silence, Josh resting his head on hers.

It was terrible to feel how he was at the moment. Ever since he laid eyes on Katie Watson, the girl who turned everything upside down, he’d tried to avoid the connection at first He knew he was leaving and he did not want to start something new with someone he found so amazing. But as moments, days and weeks past, he felt an unexpected draw to her and before he knew it, he couldn’t let a single day pass without seeing her. It was incredibly ironic because he didn’t want strings attached to anyone as he embarked onto the next chapter of his life. But right now? Well, right now his strings were so entangled with Katie’s he didn’t know how to break free.

“I’m not really good at this relationship thing.” Josh said, breaking the silence after what seemed like hours.

Katie’s eyebrows shot to the sky and she shifted a bit in his arms so she could face him. A few responses raced through her mind, but he was talking again before she could put any words together.

“It’s not something I’m proud of,” he was avoiding her eyes, “and I spent the majority of this summer telling myself that we weren’t an us. That whatever was between you and I was nothing special. But, I know what we are. And I know you do too. I had the best time of my life this summer and it was because of you. And every second spent with you, I found myself becoming someone I’ve never been before.” He finally looked down at her, his eyes on hers, “you’ve changed the way I feel about love, Katie.”

“Why are you telling me this?” Katie realized she was holding her breath.

“Because I can’t leave you tomorrow,” he said quickly and Katie felt herself becoming undone in front of him, “Distance will rip the shit out of us.”

“How do you know that?”

“Because I know me,” he ran a hand through his hair, “and I know you. And I know, regardless of how we feel about each other now, it won’t be how we feel four hundred miles apart.”

“Josh, what are you saying?”

“I’m saying this can’t continue past tonight,” he felt an instant stab of pain when he saw tears streaming down her face, “Katie, you have to know that.”

Katie finally looked away from him and back up at the stars, “I do. I just didn’t want to hear you say it.”

“You are the only person in this world who’s made me second guess my future,” he went on.

“Josh, please stop.” Katie found herself moving away from him, not wanting to hear any more.

“No,” he shook his head, “If I don’t say this now I will never get the chance. I’ve wanted to be a doctor for years, Kate. I’ve wanted Duke so bad I was physically felt sick waiting for my acceptance letter. I busted my ass all through high school to get there. To get…here. Here is exactly where I’ve wanted to be my entire life. And, never once had I considered anything else,” he paused to make sure she was listening to him, “until I met you.” Tears continued to stream down her cheeks and Josh reached over to brush them away.

Katie didn’t know what to say so she just set a hand over her eyes to stop the tears from coming. This was exactly what she didn’t want; she didn’t want to fall apart in front of him. This wasn’t how she wanted things to end with him. She didn’t want them to end, period. She didn’t know a whole lot in her seventeen years but she could safely say that now, she knew what love was.

She allowed her hand to drop as she forced the tears away, blowing out a sigh. She felt Josh staring at her but couldn’t gather the nerve to face him yet.

“You know,” he finally said, lifting her chin with one finger so her eyes finally met his, “it really sucks.”

“What’s that?” she asked, brushing tears off her cheeks.

“Just when I find someone I really like,” he paused, “I have to leave her.” Without thinking, Katie leaned over, pulling his shirt toward her and pressed her lips to Josh’s. Josh kissed her back, never once feeling fire so intense with someone in his life.

All in one motion, he scooped Katie up into his arms as he stood up. Seizing this opportunity, a moment he knew he’d never have again, he carried her off the bow toward the cabin of the boat. Her arms were wrapped his neck as she kicked her flip flops off. Once they were in the cabin, he set Katie down to latch the door behind them. The intensity between them electrified as Katie inched backward toward the seat of the cabin, pulling him by the shirt. Josh quickly lifted his shirt over his head, tossing it to the side. Katie watched his every move, feeling her heart hammer against her chest. She was afraid to move…to even breath until Josh closed the few inches between them, his fingers finding the hem of her shirt. She slowly raised her arms into the air and he slid her shirt over her head slowly, savoring every second. He tossed her shirt to the side and the two stood there, afraid to speak. Josh took her face in her hands, pressing his lips to hers again.

Katie lowered herself down onto the seat behind her, Josh following her motions. Their hands found each other at their waists and he interlocked his fingers with hers. Everything seemed to be moving in slow motion as Katie watched Josh over her. She stared up at him, a feeling of security wash over her. He slowly brushed a brown strand off her forehead and she had never felt so loved than she did in that moment. Was this what being an adult felt like? Having your entire life in someone else’s hands? Because that was exactly how she felt. And it was equally terrifying and amazing.

“It’s been a helluva summer, huh?” Josh was running a hand through Katie’s hair. Her head was on his bare chest, listening silently to his heartbeat. She closed her eyes, feeling the rush of emotions all over again.

“I don’t want it to end,” she said, “I wish I was coming to North Carolina with you.”

“Hey,” he said gently, “you told me when you were a little girl you dreamt of being an author. Don’t disappoint yourself on my account.”

“Then, I wish we’d met sooner,” Katie shifted herself next to him, to lean up on one elbow so she could face him.

“You know that wouldn’t have changed much,” Josh told her, looking over at her sideways.

“We could’ve been together longer,” she said.

“Ah, you’ll get to that fancy college and it won’t be long before someone sweeps you off your feet,” he said.

“Maybe,” she shrugged, “and I can only imagine all the girls you’re going to swoon at Duke. All those pre-med, fake nerds who want to be doctors.”

Josh laughed loudly, “fake nerds?”

“You know what I’m talking about.”

“And hold on,” more laughter escaping him, “I swoon girls?”

“You know you do!” Katie was laughing now, “you’re a total swooner.”

“That’s not even a word!”

“Who’s the English major here?”

“Supposedly you,” Josh sat up, still grinning at her, “but that doesn’t give you a right to make up words.”

Katie laughed, lying back down to look through the skylight. The stars twinkled brightly over them and she sighed, thoughtfully. She thought of what he’d said earlier and he was right – they’ll always be under the same sky. “Hey, Josh?”

“Mm?” he responded as he stood up.

“Same stars?”

He was now picking up his shirt off the floor, his eyes falling on her as she looked up at the sky; “Same stars. Always.”

“I have something for you,” Josh announced as he motored into his driveway. He killed the engine and reached over to pop open the glove compartment. Katie unbuckled her seatbelt, watching as he pulled out a small wooden, ring box. “I made the box in my dad’s shop yesterday.”

“It’s a nice box,” she offered and he rolled his eyes.

“No. The box isn’t important,” he said hurriedly, handing it to her, “look inside the box.” Katie’s surprised eyes stared at him as she took it. “It’s not what you think,” he chuckled, seeing her facial expression, “I know it looks like a ring box…but it’s…just open it.”

Katie took a deep breath and opened the box.

Inside was a rock from his driveway.

“A rock?” she asked, dubiously.

“When we went camping-”

“I know what it’s from,” she cut him off, taking the rock out of the box. “But why are you giving it to me?”

Josh stared at her as she rolled the rock in between her fingers. The very same rock his younger sister gave them before they embarked on a camping trip earlier this summer to “protect them from bears”. The very same rock they had passed back and forth all night as to not lose it. The same rock Josh had been keeping in the pocket of his jeans because it reminded him; reminded him of the camping trip, the laughter, the fun…the summer. The same rock that reminded him of Katie.

“You know, Kate, sometimes I think you know the answer to somethings but you just want me to spell it out for you,” Josh quirked a brow and Katie blew out a sigh, knowing he was right. She knew exactly why he gave her the rock.

Katie stared at it, feeling heavy sorrow and love all at once for a tiny pebble a five year old took out of a driveway. She knew why he gave it to her, but she didn’t want to keep it; she wanted him to have it. Her teeth were sunk into her bottom lip as she looked up at him.

“Did you ever have a feeling, but you didn’t know what it was?” Josh broke their silence, feeling Katie stare at him. Her eyes went wide, the rock still in her hand, and her focus was intent on him. He scratched the back of his head, half expecting her to answer him, half expecting her to continue to sit there and stare. “It’s a good feeling,” he went on, hoping she’d chime in. When she didn’t, he sighed, feeling frustrated; “it’s like, I try to put words together and they sound great in my head. But, when I try to say them…there aren’t any.”

“Any what?”

“Words,” he said, “there are one million, three hundred thousand words in the English language, yet, I can’t seem to find the right ones to string together to tell you how I feel about you, Katie.”

Katie felt her breath catch in her chest as the word love stood out in her mind. She continued to stare at him, realization dawning on her that maybe sometimes love isn’t enough. At least, not when you’re seventeen. Although somehow, it seemed like Josh already knew that. While love had its own power, it didn’t seem to fit how she felt for him.

“Do you have any idea of what I’m talking about?” he prodded.

Katie nodded feeling herself in a clouded daze; “yeah. I do.”

“Is there anything you want to say?”

Katie’s thoughts raced. Yes, she thought, so much. There is so much I want to say. But the truth is you’re leaving tomorrow. I’m leaving the following day. So, in forty eight hours none of this will matter. Life is moving on from all of this; life is moving on from us.

She took a deep breath, tucking some brown hair behind her ear. “You know, Josh, some things are better left unsaid.”

Josh furrowed his brow, “do you really believe that?”

“Yes,” she breathed, “I really do. Thank you for giving me our rock,” she smiled ruefully at him, “I can’t believe you remembered it.”

“I remember it all,” he said meekly.

Silently, they climbed out of his car and walked up the walkway to his house. As they headed up the front steps, Katie felt this was goodbye. Josh turned to face her, stuffing his hands into the pockets of his jeans. He felt it too.

“So,” he said, shuffling his feet.

“So,” she echoed.

“So,” he nodded, “I guess this is it.”

Katie nodded, “yep.” He took her into his arms, resting his forehead on her shoulder. Katie buried her face into his shirt, breathing him in. Realization of never again seeing someone you love sunk deep into her psyche, feeling the weight of one hundred bricks suddenly on her shoulders.

Katie stepped back, brushing her hair out of her face, ready to face him for the last time; “I’ll see ya, Josh.”

Josh nodded miserably, uttering a response, “yeah. See ya, Kate.” Katie took a step back, forcing another smile before turning to head down the steps. Her heart hammering in her chest, her eyes filled with hot tears, she suddenly felt an electric sensation as Josh grabbed her arm, spinning her back around. He pulled her to him, passionately kissing her. Katie was convinced there had never been such an intense kiss in the history of kissing and, for them, it seemed to last for hours.

Finally, Katie slowly pulled away, her eyes on her feet as she stepped back away from him again. When she was finally able to muster the courage to look at him, he was staring at her intently. She tried to swallow the lump that had planted itself in her throat as she finally turned to head down the steps. Once she was successfully off his porch and on the walkway toward her car, she let tears escape her eyes. She didn’t bother to compose herself, her emotions or her tears. Her love for Josh was real and it deserved a semi-colossal meltdown in his driveway. Even if he couldn’t see it.

“Katie!” she heard Josh call. She stopped walking, turning around slowly in response. She saw Josh standing on his front porch, planted in the same spot she left him; “I love you!”

Katie’s heart sank into her stomach and a grin of both sorrow and happiness spread across her face. Josh smiled widely at her before turning and going into his house. Katie’s teeth found her lower lip again as she watched him disappear inside.

“I love you too,” she said to herself.

 Winter, 2017

 Katie stood over the headstone of Dr. Joshua Parker. “You meant everything to me,” she said, shaking her head; “I just wish I had the chance to tell you that.” Withdrawing a familiar rock from her coat pocket, she turned it around in her gloved fingers. “I remember it all,” she repeated his words back to him, setting the rock on the top of his headstone. “I’ll see ya, Josh.”

She wrapped her long, winter coat around her body as she stepped away. Finally turning from him, she made her way across the cemetery. Her head down, her eyes on the grass as she swiftly made her way to the parking lot. The crisp, New Jersey air caused her to shiver as she made her way up to a red SUV, parked with the engine running. Pulling open the passenger door, her husband looked over at her from the driver’s seat.

“Everything okay?” he asked, seeing a few tears on his wife’s cheeks.

“Yeah,” Katie forced a smile, climbing into the passenger seat, “I finally got the chance to say goodbye to an old friend.”